I wish i could say its finished for good, but now my parents are shelling out 100 bucks a week for me to be punished, thats some shit huh?


but besides that one little blip in my life, i am content right now. no looming court date, decent boy with minimal troubles, no specific drama.


i just get sick of being where i am, i'm restless, i'm aimless, i want to go and be and i have absolutely no direction in my life except to be happy, which is completely indulgent. and that is my downfall, i just go, on a whim, with where ever the wind takes me,and do what makes me happy then. i just dont want to grow up and worry.



and as time progresses, the only thing i want to do is be with people who matter to me

i wish i had something to say.

i feel utterly shitty.

i'm sick

i got arrested

i'm lonely

and valentines day has the strange affect on me, making me careless with boys and feel fat and ugly.


fantastic.stupid.gulible.


welcome to my life

Name: Abby
Current Location: College
Eye Color: brown/green
Hair Color: dark brown
Height: 5 4
Right Handed or Left Handed: right
Your Heritage: mostly irish and polish...tiny bit native american
The Shoes You Wore Today: Clogs to teach the kiddies
Your Weakness: guys who are funny
Your Fears: death, car accident, and ending up alone w/o a family.
Your Perfect Pizza: crispy cheese
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: live it as much as ican
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: lol
Thoughts First Waking Up: "Fuck i hate waking up" 
Your Best Physical Feature: i like my eyes...and my waist...
Your Bedtime: lately no later then 1130 since i get up at 6 to teach
Your Most Missed Memory: skipping class to fuck all day with him. 
Pepsi or Coke: coke
MacDonalds or Burger King: either
Single or Group Dates: single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: neither
Chocolate or Vanilla: vanilla all the way
Cappuccino or Coffee: neither
Do you Smoke: i quit smoking cigs.(yay me)
Do you Swear: more then i should
Do you Sing: all the time
Do you Shower Daily: yes, nothing makes me in a better mood
Have you Been in Love: maybeA?
Do you want to go to College: doin' it.
Do you want to get Married: most def
Do you belive in yourself: i try to
Do you get Motion Sickness: sometimes
Do you think you are Attractive: wheni feel pretty yeah... 
Are you a Health Freak: no way
Do you get along with your Parents: Definately
Do you like Thunderstorms: yes
Do you play an Instrument: yes, clarinet and paino
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: yes, i am in college
In the past month have you Smoked: yeah
In the past month have you been on Drugs: probably
In the past month have you gone on a Date: yes
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yup worked there 
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: no way
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: negative
In the past month have you been on Stage: don't think so
In the past month have you been Dumped: no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: no way  jose




In the past month have you Stolen Anything: nope
Ever been Drunk: yes
Ever been called a Tease: yes
Ever been Beaten up: no way
Ever Shoplifted: never
How do you want to Die: peacefully and with people i love
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Happy
What country would you most like to Visit: Greece, Ireland, Poland, England, Chile...
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: whatever, usually lighter eyes though 
Favourite Hair Color: i usually go for darker boys...like brown hair.
Short or Long Hair:either
Height: doesnt matter. my height or bigger
Weight: as long as theres no beer gut i'm good...doesnt have to be tip top shape...look at me...
Best Clothing Style:whatever is their style....i hate chicks that change dudes
Number of Drugs I have taken: meh nothing hard
Number of CDs I own: too many
Number of Piercings: one in each ear, belley button, and tongue
Number of Tattoos: 3- a rose i got that matches one my mother got at the same time, a celtic symbol that means everything comes around(karma), and 5 flowers, one for each month of my mom,dad, and bro's birth, with my brith month on each end..
Number of things in my Past I Regret: nothing. you win some you lose some, you fuck up you live laugh love cry and fight....i wouldnt change a damn thing

Its good tobe home away from the drama.

My boyfriend and i kind of broke up...we're on a "break"

breaks are so stupid, i completely dispise them.


he thinks i cheated on him with one of his frat brothers and one of his other best friends.

i have never cheated a day in my life

he runs to kait all the time and whines to her, and then she comes at me like some bat out of hell and yells at me about my relationship which she isnt involved in and has no place talking about or taking sides (his) of any sort...

and to solidify my point, i called him out on running to her like a highschooler and she stormed in my room in the morning and was like "do you tell him i tell you he thinks you cheated on him?" and i said "Yhup" rolled over and went back to sleep.

way to prove my point..

i'm over this, its too highschool and bullshit for me. 

i will not date someone who wont trust me and has no reason to think otherwise about my standings.

i was willing to work through all the fighting that had been going on....

but it makes me wonder when all of his brothers are much more concerned with me being "okay" which they all ask me if i am, then worrying about one of their own......

and thinking that he has no right to yell at me or his brother about this alleged "infidelity"

another one bites the dust....

why cant it just be easy?

for realz

 I will never understand why we dont have an education major.
what the fuck. i have to bust my ass for this fucking minor i'm so stressed i could cry
papers due in all 4 of my classes by the end of the semester which means i have to start them now. and i couldnt registar for like half of my fucking classes. and to top it all of the minor classes i need i cant get into because i cant fit a practicum into my schedual so i'm going to be more overwhelmed then usual next year. 
what the fuck. 

i will never understand how i miss the section of life titled "relationship equitte"
How is it, that i finally get a semi-normal relationship, and all i can think of is the one that i shouldnt be in, but shouldnt have left..like i told you today, we're damned if we do and damned if we dont...
Why cant we just end this for better or for worse and go our seperate ways.
so why why WHY do we always keep coming back together in this wretched vicious cycle? 
Like i dont fucking get it
I have a boyfriend who i like a lot, whose sweet and nice and attentive and good in bed and just wants to spend time with me and does what ever i want
but...
why cant i just accept that?
why cant i just like someone back as much as they like me?
anna said its better to date a guy that likes you more then you like them and i couldnt disagree more
not that i dont like the boyfriend, because i do i actually genuinely do like him a lot
apparently i'm just a kamakazee girlfriend.
Yeah i hear ya. I still think about you alot. I almost took a job offer in hagerstown partly because of it. but i gues that woulda been silly...
what is going on with my life?
why cant i just be done with you? huh? tell me that. why the hell do we run ourselves ragged in this constant circle of misery...
damned if ya do damned if you dont
i just am baffled as to why this is occuring


maybe i'm just destined to be stuck in this vicious cycle until one of us gives in or something
maybe i'm thinking to much
maybe girls like me dont deserve nice boyfriends like the one i have whom i adore
maybe.

1. The status of you and the last person you texted?
he's my boyfriend

2. Whats bothering you right now?
nothing. and everything

3. Would you kiss someone to make your BF/GF mad?
no not to make him mad 

4. What is in your wallet?
money, pictures, recipts, change, license, assorted bonus cards

5. Wallpaper on your computers desktop?
all of us at harveystone

6. Background on your cell phone?
birthday shots from my birthday

15. Last person who texted you?
Dan

16. Listening to?
America's Next Top Model in the background

17. Have you ever kissed anyone named James?
negative

18. What do you smell like?
like a need a shower and cigs

19. Eating?
ate some really bad cafeteria food

20. Whats your favorite thing to have on your bed?
my pillow. and my bright pink, out of character, girly sheets of egyption cotton

21. If you could change something in your life, what would it be?
i'd be able to pay for school

22. What do you wear to bed?
boy lax shorts and a sports bra, or a bright y ellow spam shirt

23. Do you remember your dreams?
most of the time, they're usually weird

25. Have you ever been gambling?
nope

26. What's something you wish you could understand better?
why good people havebad things happen to them

27. What did you do last night?
Got back from my grandparent's 50th wedding aniversary, came back to school, got into a fight with the bf and went to bed
28. Who do you miss?
My bff

29. Who is the last person you hugged?
Katie

30. Do you keep up with MLB standings?
nope

31. Who was the last person you went somewhere with?
katie becky laura and jana

33. Have you kissed anyone on your top friends?
top friends? don't have them, however have made out with half of my sorority

36. What was the last thing you drank?
Coke

37. Where were you at noon yesterday?
In a bath

38. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
My cousin when my godson was born <3

39. Do you like someone right now?
i think so, yeah

40. Are you bored?
nope

41. What is the last movie you watched?
Wizard of Oz

42. Name three drinks you regularly drink?
Water, Coke, Vodka

43. What are you excited about?
Thanksgiving

44. Do you want someone you can't have?
Yes.

45. Who was last to slap your butt?
Dan

46. Where was the last place you went?
To dinner

47. Whats on your mind right now?
Needing to do work.

48. Have you cried recently?
Yeah

49. Do you want to be in a relationship right now?
Strangely yes and no...even though i am in one

i'm in a weird mood, theres a lot going on in my head. I shouldnt feel the way I feel about what happened.....


She screamed in my face for a good 5 minutes, I was sober, it was sorority formal and we were camping.  I don't let people scream at me like that. It does not happen, but I stood there while she was nose to nose with me, screaming and yelling. I was trying to calm her down, she was screaming for no reason, she even yelled "I dont know what I'm screaming about!"

"If you're going to do something do it, otherwise sit down and stop screaming"

She persisted yelling in my face and then out of no where cocked her arm back like she was going to hit me.  I grabbed her by the throat and slammed her up against the bunk beds, holding her by the neck. She grabbed my hair at my temple and tried to pull it out( my scalp was bleeding later).  I grabbed her hair with my right hand, reached around the person trying to pull her off me and punched her in the face. 


I would never hit someone that was my friend, someone that was my sister, someone that is my roommate and calls her self my "Best friend".

I shouldn't feel bad,and I don't know why I do.  She attacked me, and I reacted.


This weekend she said she'd never drink again after last weekend when campus safety forced her into an ambulance to the hospital, she had a .4 blood alch. level, and while she was there she a) pulled her iv out 5 times b) then proceeded to bite a hole through her iv tube c) tried to pull her cathedar out

it's her life she's fucking up, so why is mine spinning?


I hate that I had to hit her, I hate it.  I would never do that to someone willingly.

ever.


Why am I so affected?

Maybe its because she does not even feel any remorse for anything in her long and torrid history of drinking that she's done to all of us.  Maybe right now I don't feel comfortable/ safe in my room with someone who, honestly, seems to have absolutely no soul.



How do you deal with something that someone doesn't feel bad about? How do you try to help someone who can't help herself? How do you deal with the feelings you SHOULDN'T be feeling about something that wasn't your fault.

I cannot even explain to anyone how I feel, or why I feel like this.  My parents think  that I snapped and shouldn't have done that.

What was I supposed to do when someone was trying to rip my hair out.

Luke and Alan are proud that I landed a left hook when I'm right handed.

Boyfriend is proud I didn't beat the shit out of her, and haven't before.


I'm not proud at all. I feel sick.

I love college, love love love it. But somtimes i miss being in Hagerstown, i miss seeing the baby crawling around, and even though hes 9 months old, my mom let him listen to me say "HI MONSTER!!!" on the phone and he laughed and laughed and laughed.

i take that as a sign he recognized/misses me


Sometimes i really enjoy feeling needed. Which is a very strange sensation because everyone thinks I'm so hard, even my Dad today was like "Quit being so hard, lighten up, have some sympathy." HOWEVER, while I'm on this topic, I was venting to him about our fucking pussy ass pledge class. These girls are pussies, no matter what anyone says. They whine, they cry, they complain, they beg for sleep. FUCK THAT SHIT! I did not sleep at all during pledging, nor did I cry the whole goddamn time. Do not expect me to respect these little cunts if they cannot even make it the pledge period without talking to a boy. Thats a joke. I love dick as much as the next wholesome young lady, but REALLY?!! 


Anyway. I do really love feeling needed....and enjoyed...and like someone genuinely cares about what I say.

Which brings me back to my family.

They do love/need/enjoy/care.


And I love it.


I have a boyfriend now. Weird right? It's weird for me to even say "My boyfriend"...but I guess I'm really into him because I haven't slept with him yet(which seems really backwards but thats how I know its true). Plus last weekend I kicked a girl (Phi Sigg) out of his apt in front of an entire party.

Brief Hilarious re-cap


I had to walk one of my sisters back to the dorm from this party cuz she was tired and upset. On my way back, Dan calls and says

"Hey you're coming back right?"
"Yeah I am on my way, why whats up?"
"Well Anna Moffet is in my bed...."
"I'll be there in a second"

Now Anna Moffet climbed into his apt window 2 weeks ago because she is a creepy wack job, and he was passed out drunk.  Also, Dan's frat brother Yerkes was passed out in his bed. I've come to the uninformed decison that she thought that Dan was the one passed out in his bed, and didn't care that it wasn't him, and tried to hook up with Yerkes(who also has a girlfriend)  So after I walk in, 2 of my sisters are like "We have your back" and I was l ike yeah okay dont need it but thanx boo..

*picture me walking in to his room, swinging the door open forcefully, and turning on the lights as forcefully as you can do that*

"Anna. Get out of that bed now."
"uhm...ehh..."
"No. I do not want you in that bed Get. Up. Now"
"Okay"

I shut the door behind her and go into the living room. Kaitlyn has a perfect view of where she came from and goes 

"Abby! She just went back in there"
*stunned silence at her stupidity since I was *rudely*polite the first time*
"ANNA! WHAT THE FUCK. GET THE FUCK OUT OF HER NOW! I DO NOT CARE WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE DOING GET THE FUCK UP AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS APARTMENT RIGHT THIS FUCKING MINUTE"
"I was just trying to..."
"I DO NOT FUCKING CARE. YOU BETTER FUCKING LEAVE NOW GODDAMN IT!"

She left. In tears. To the sounds of an appaluding apartment.


Don't fuck with my fucking boyfriend. Let me see that wretched little cunt back there again. That'll be the last time anybody fuckin' sees her.

Turn Ons        
Nice hands
Nice smiles
Nice in general
Strong arms
typically "manly"
does sweet things with out asking me what to do
is strong(or appears so, cuz thats hot)
can argue with me
doesnt play games
straight foward attitude
NOT crazy               
straight up GETS me(ie knows when to quit, knows when i'm upset, knows how to read me)
can take a joke
romantic

Turn Offs
Bad teeth
Overly emotional
Overly nice
Overly sweet
Argues too much
too romantic
crazy
doesnt get me at all
jokes too much


is this man to fucking hard to ask for?!?!?