Childrens games outsmart me.

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 00:21:12 GMT

25 random things....that i was not doing on facebook.

25)I do not like chocolate
24)I also do not like pie fillings.
23)I am a pretty picky eater
22)I love milk
21)I wish I never had to go to the gym
20)I sometimes refuse to go to the gym for long periods of time because I think I should be appreciated for what I have now
19)I love my family, they are awesome
18)I have few close female friends, specifically because I cannot deal with the behavior of females
17)That being said, it is very hard to talk to my best guy friends sometimes, because they don't get things.
16)I'm afraid I am going to end up all alone with a million pets.
15)I really want to get married and have babies...
14)My boyfriend is in Budapest, and I never knew I could actually be this miserable
13)People who walk slowly make me want to trip them and step on their heads
12)I make really mean faces when I walk in public, and have no idea I do it.
11)I'm kind of a control freak
10)I am messy, but I like to think of it as "eclectically neat" and I know where everything is.
9)I want to work with special needs children after grad school
8)I love meeting new people
7)I don't make my bed in the mornings, but I do make it every night before I get in it
6)I am afraid of big dogs.
5)I want to get an American mastiff or Great Dane oneday
4)If i ever live alone I will own a gun
3)I don't ever want to have to live alone
2)My boyfriend means the world to me
1)I am obsessed with trashy reality tv shows.

being lame...

Thu, 22 May 2008 04:53:26 GMT

Who is the last persons house you went to?
beckys

How many people have you kissed in the last 2 weeks?
one

Miss someone?
more then i've missed someone....ever possibly

How's your ex doing?
fine. graduating college.

Is there someone you want to fight?
at this particular moment no. today or tomorow who knows

Do you like someone right now?
more then anyone else in my history(which seems weird because i always rave about people, but legit)

Song playing?
"Her Middle Name Was Boom" by Glass jaw....his cd..

What are you doing tomorrow?
i dont know. i dont start work untill next week and i'm utterly lost and bored in this cess pool of a town

What's annoying you right now?
the fact that i've been pmsy and really weepy and whiney.

Have you ever watched a movie drunk?
one of my favorite past times

What are you doing tonight?
I babysat my godson, talked to the bf a few times, went to beckys and discussed her life issues with her and liz

Who did you ride in a car with last besides your family?
liz

Have you ever bought anything from a sex shop?
yeah

What color is the shirt you are wearing?
grey sports bra tank

What will you do Sunday?
drinking off a hangover

Do you have any interesting bruises or scars?
i have scars from making funnle cake in grease at morgan state...weird right?

What were you doing at noon yesterday?
getting harassed by my mother

Have you been outside of the US?
nope

The last text you received on your cell was from?
my mother

Last show you watched?
tv show? law and order

Last person you hugged?
my dad

The last place you went to?
beckys

Who/What made you angry today?
my mother/pms/textmessaging

Do you sing in the shower?
absolutely

Has anyone ever made a poem for you?
yeah...

Eye Color?
hazle

What color are your bedroom walls?
blue/green/purple

How many credit cards do you have?
none

Ever been stuck in an elevator?
negative

First thing you notice in the opposite sex?
hands....smile...eyes....personality too(cliche i know)

Favorite physical feature on yourself?
my...smile....i like it...

my...curves...they're fun
my... nose

What did you last eat?
a peanut butter sandwhich

What are you looking forward to?
sleeping in, seeing brandon, sleeping with brandon, happiness in life

Obsessions?
love, reading, hands, sex, smiles, happiness, being with people who get me, laughing, being innappropriate, cracking my knuckles, eating candy by color,

What is on your bed right now?
me, laptop, book, cellphone, pillows, blankets

When was the last time you threw up?
one night after i decided it would be a fantastic idea to drink asmuch as possible, take a 45 minute scalding hot shower, and guzzle wine the entire time, then pass on the back poarch of brandons frat house...in a skirt....then puke everywhere in my dorm room...so classy

What's your favorite word or phrase?
"intense"

Name someone who made you smile today?
Jamison(my godson), brandon, liz, becky, ma and dad

What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
sleeping

What were you doing 12 hours ago?
eating lunch with ma

What is your favorite holiday?
halloween or thanksgiving

What is the last thing you said aloud?
"I'm home on time!!!!"

What is the best ice cream flavor?
chocolate chip cookie dough

What was the last thing you had to drink?
coke

What are you wearing right now?
fleece pajama pants, and a sportsbra tank, and my retainer

Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
nope

What's the last sporting event you watched?
rugby

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
greece and italy and ireland

Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on myspace?
kim

Have you ever lost anything down a toilet?
one time i dropped a ring when i was little and then i flushed it for lack of a better idea lol

Do you drink your soda from a straw?
nope

What did your last text message say?
one that i got? "bored as shit missing you"
one that i sent was " i just saw a bumpersticker that said 'i miss you alot asshole' and laughed super hard"
Are you someone's best friend?
yeah

Where is your mom right now?
in bed

Look to your left, what do you see?
a dresser a nightstand and a strange pile of 7 pillows that are not mine

Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
both

How's your dog?
nonexistant

Last person you talked to on the phone?
brandon

Are you happy?
yeah

Where are you right now?
my bed

Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
meh i guess

How many kids do you want when you're older?
4-5

How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
20

Have you ever been to Six Flags?
actually nope

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 05:07:42 GMT

I wish i could say its finished for good, but now my parents are shelling out 100 bucks a week for me to be punished, thats some shit huh?

but besides that one little blip in my life, i am content right now. no looming court date, decent boy with minimal troubles, no specific drama.

i just get sick of being where i am, i'm restless, i'm aimless, i want to go and be and i have absolutely no direction in my life except to be happy, which is completely indulgent. and that is my downfall, i just go, on a whim, with where ever the wind takes me,and do what makes me happy then. i just dont want to grow up and worry.

and as time progresses, the only thing i want to do is be with people who matter to me

Tue, 12 Feb 2008 01:04:09 GMT

i wish i had something to say.

i feel utterly shitty.

i'm sick

i got arrested

i'm lonely

and valentines day has the strange affect on me, making me careless with boys and feel fat and ugly.

fantastic.stupid.gulible.

welcome to my life

Wed, 16 Jan 2008 01:56:43 GMT

Can i just talk about all the people i graduated with that are pregnant/married.

i mean there is nothing worng with it, it's their lives.....but what the fuck

i just cannot fathom it

I get bored and steal surveys off jen's myspace....

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 23:37:24 GMT

Name: Abby
Current Location: College
Eye Color: brown/green
Hair Color: dark brown
Height: 5 4
Right Handed or Left Handed: right
Your Heritage: mostly irish and polish...tiny bit native american
The Shoes You Wore Today: Clogs to teach the kiddies
Your Weakness: guys who are funny
Your Fears: death, car accident, and ending up alone w/o a family.
Your Perfect Pizza: crispy cheese
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: live it as much as ican
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: lol
Thoughts First Waking Up: "Fuck i hate waking up"
Your Best Physical Feature: i like my eyes...and my waist...
Your Bedtime: lately no later then 1130 since i get up at 6 to teach
Your Most Missed Memory: skipping class to fuck all day with him.
Pepsi or Coke: coke
MacDonalds or Burger King: either
Single or Group Dates: single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: neither
Chocolate or Vanilla: vanilla all the way
Cappuccino or Coffee: neither
Do you Smoke: i quit smoking cigs.(yay me)
Do you Swear: more then i should
Do you Sing: all the time
Do you Shower Daily: yes, nothing makes me in a better mood
Have you Been in Love: maybeA?
Do you want to go to College: doin' it.
Do you want to get Married: most def
Do you belive in yourself: i try to
Do you get Motion Sickness: sometimes
Do you think you are Attractive: wheni feel pretty yeah...
Are you a Health Freak: no way
Do you get along with your Parents: Definately
Do you like Thunderstorms: yes
Do you play an Instrument: yes, clarinet and paino
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: yes, i am in college
In the past month have you Smoked: yeah
In the past month have you been on Drugs: probably
In the past month have you gone on a Date: yes
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yup worked there
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: no way
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: negative
In the past month have you been on Stage: don't think so
In the past month have you been Dumped: no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: no way jose

In the past month have you Stolen Anything: nope
Ever been Drunk: yes
Ever been called a Tease: yes
Ever been Beaten up: no way
Ever Shoplifted: never
How do you want to Die: peacefully and with people i love
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Happy
What country would you most like to Visit: Greece, Ireland, Poland, England, Chile...
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: whatever, usually lighter eyes though
Favourite Hair Color: i usually go for darker boys...like brown hair.
Short or Long Hair:either
Height: doesnt matter. my height or bigger
Weight: as long as theres no beer gut i'm good...doesnt have to be tip top shape...look at me...
Best Clothing Style:whatever is their style....i hate chicks that change dudes
Number of Drugs I have taken: meh nothing hard
Number of CDs I own: too many
Number of Piercings: one in each ear, belley button, and tongue
Number of Tattoos: 3- a rose i got that matches one my mother got at the same time, a celtic symbol that means everything comes around(karma), and 5 flowers, one for each month of my mom,dad, and bro's birth, with my brith month on each end..
Number of things in my Past I Regret: nothing. you win some you lose some, you fuck up you live laugh love cry and fight....i wouldnt change a damn thing

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 05:44:27 GMT

Its good tobe home away from the drama.

My boyfriend and i kind of broke up...we're on a "break"

breaks are so stupid, i completely dispise them.

he thinks i cheated on him with one of his frat brothers and one of his other best friends.

i have never cheated a day in my life

he runs to kait all the time and whines to her, and then she comes at me like some bat out of hell and yells at me about my relationship which she isnt involved in and has no place talking about or taking sides (his) of any sort...

and to solidify my point, i called him out on running to her like a highschooler and she stormed in my room in the morning and was like "do you tell him i tell you he thinks you cheated on him?" and i said "Yhup" rolled over and went back to sleep.

way to prove my point..

i'm over this, its too highschool and bullshit for me.

i will not date someone who wont trust me and has no reason to think otherwise about my standings.

i was willing to work through all the fighting that had been going on....

but it makes me wonder when all of his brothers are much more concerned with me being "okay" which they all ask me if i am, then worrying about one of their own......

and thinking that he has no right to yell at me or his brother about this alleged "infidelity"

another one bites the dust....

why cant it just be easy?

for realz

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 07:52:47 GMT

so i shouldnt be allowed to date. i'm a bad girlfriend. maybe thats my problem

I...
1) hate spending too much time together
2) hate when people try to do things for me
3)dont need to be told i'm liked
4)do no enjoy stupid fights
5)really am okay with talknig to a b/f not all the time, and also love "guys night"
6)am a relationship retard

do not date girls like me

Tue, 13 Nov 2007 05:20:32 GMT

I will never understand why we dont have an education major.
what the fuck. i have to bust my ass for this fucking minor i'm so stressed i could cry
papers due in all 4 of my classes by the end of the semester which means i have to start them now. and i couldnt registar for like half of my fucking classes. and to top it all of the minor classes i need i cant get into because i cant fit a practicum into my schedual so i'm going to be more overwhelmed then usual next year.
what the fuck.

i will never understand how i miss the section of life titled "relationship equitte"
How is it, that i finally get a semi-normal relationship, and all i can think of is the one that i shouldnt be in, but shouldnt have left..like i told you today, we're damned if we do and damned if we dont...
Why cant we just end this for better or for worse and go our seperate ways.
so why why WHY do we always keep coming back together in this wretched vicious cycle?
Like i dont fucking get it
I have a boyfriend who i like a lot, whose sweet and nice and attentive and good in bed and just wants to spend time with me and does what ever i want
but...
why cant i just accept that?
why cant i just like someone back as much as they like me?
anna said its better to date a guy that likes you more then you like them and i couldnt disagree more
not that i dont like the boyfriend, because i do i actually genuinely do like him a lot
apparently i'm just a kamakazee girlfriend.
Yeah i hear ya. I still think about you alot. I almost took a job offer in hagerstown partly because of it. but i gues that woulda been silly...
what is going on with my life?
why cant i just be done with you? huh? tell me that. why the hell do we run ourselves ragged in this constant circle of misery...
damned if ya do damned if you dont
i just am baffled as to why this is occuring

maybe i'm just destined to be stuck in this vicious cycle until one of us gives in or something
maybe i'm thinking to much
maybe girls like me dont deserve nice boyfriends like the one i have whom i adore
maybe.

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 23:34:05 GMT

I'm avoiding work by doing this....refrain from judging...

1. The status of you and the last person you texted?
he's my boyfriend

2. Whats bothering you right now?
nothing. and everything

3. Would you kiss someone to make your BF/GF mad?
no not to make him mad

4. What is in your wallet?
money, pictures, recipts, change, license, assorted bonus cards

5. Wallpaper on your computers desktop?
all of us at harveystone

6. Background on your cell phone?
birthday shots from my birthday

15. Last person who texted you?
Dan

16. Listening to?
America's Next Top Model in the background

17. Have you ever kissed anyone named James?
negative

18. What do you smell like?
like a need a shower and cigs

19. Eating?
ate some really bad cafeteria food

20. Whats your favorite thing to have on your bed?
my pillow. and my bright pink, out of character, girly sheets of egyption cotton

21. If you could change something in your life, what would it be?
i'd be able to pay for school

22. What do you wear to bed?
boy lax shorts and a sports bra, or a bright y ellow spam shirt

23. Do you remember your dreams?
most of the time, they're usually weird

25. Have you ever been gambling?
nope

26. What's something you wish you could understand better?
why good people havebad things happen to them

27. What did you do last night?
Got back from my grandparent's 50th wedding aniversary, came back to school, got into a fight with the bf and went to bed
28. Who do you miss?
My bff

29. Who is the last person you hugged?
Katie

30. Do you keep up with MLB standings?
nope

31. Who was the last person you went somewhere with?
katie becky laura and jana

33. Have you kissed anyone on your top friends?
top friends? don't have them, however have made out with half of my sorority

36. What was the last thing you drank?
Coke

37. Where were you at noon yesterday?
In a bath

38. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
My cousin when my godson was born <3

39. Do you like someone right now?
i think so, yeah

40. Are you bored?
nope

41. What is the last movie you watched?
Wizard of Oz

42. Name three drinks you regularly drink?
Water, Coke, Vodka

43. What are you excited about?
Thanksgiving

44. Do you want someone you can't have?
Yes.

45. Who was last to slap your butt?
Dan

46. Where was the last place you went?
To dinner

47. Whats on your mind right now?
Needing to do work.

48. Have you cried recently?
Yeah

49. Do you want to be in a relationship right now?
Strangely yes and no...even though i am in one

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 18:24:18 GMT

i'm in a weird mood, theres a lot going on in my head. I shouldnt feel the way I feel about what happened.....

She screamed in my face for a good 5 minutes, I was sober, it was sorority formal and we were camping. I don't let people scream at me like that. It does not happen, but I stood there while she was nose to nose with me, screaming and yelling. I was trying to calm her down, she was screaming for no reason, she even yelled "I dont know what I'm screaming about!"

"If you're going to do something do it, otherwise sit down and stop screaming"

She persisted yelling in my face and then out of no where cocked her arm back like she was going to hit me. I grabbed her by the throat and slammed her up against the bunk beds, holding her by the neck. She grabbed my hair at my temple and tried to pull it out( my scalp was bleeding later). I grabbed her hair with my right hand, reached around the person trying to pull her off me and punched her in the face.

I would never hit someone that was my friend, someone that was my sister, someone that is my roommate and calls her self my "Best friend".

I shouldn't feel bad,and I don't know why I do. She attacked me, and I reacted.

This weekend she said she'd never drink again after last weekend when campus safety forced her into an ambulance to the hospital, she had a .4 blood alch. level, and while she was there she a) pulled her iv out 5 times b) then proceeded to bite a hole through her iv tube c) tried to pull her cathedar out

it's her life she's fucking up, so why is mine spinning?

I hate that I had to hit her, I hate it. I would never do that to someone willingly.

ever.

Why am I so affected?

Maybe its because she does not even feel any remorse for anything in her long and torrid history of drinking that she's done to all of us. Maybe right now I don't feel comfortable/ safe in my room with someone who, honestly, seems to have absolutely no soul.

How do you deal with something that someone doesn't feel bad about? How do you try to help someone who can't help herself? How do you deal with the feelings you SHOULDN'T be feeling about something that wasn't your fault.

I cannot even explain to anyone how I feel, or why I feel like this. My parents think that I snapped and shouldn't have done that.

What was I supposed to do when someone was trying to rip my hair out.

Luke and Alan are proud that I landed a left hook when I'm right handed.

Boyfriend is proud I didn't beat the shit out of her, and haven't before.

I'm not proud at all. I feel sick.

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 01:35:55 GMT

I am the most useless college student ever. I never do work, I skip class like it's my job. My teachers must think I am the unluckiest and most sickly girl on the face of the planet. I am just COMPLETELY unmotivated.

Now i'm going to go drink

Fri, 05 Oct 2007 08:27:50 GMT

I love college, love love love it. But somtimes i miss being in Hagerstown, i miss seeing the baby crawling around, and even though hes 9 months old, my mom let him listen to me say "HI MONSTER!!!" on the phone and he laughed and laughed and laughed.

i take that as a sign he recognized/misses me

Sometimes i really enjoy feeling needed. Which is a very strange sensation because everyone thinks I'm so hard, even my Dad today was like "Quit being so hard, lighten up, have some sympathy." HOWEVER, while I'm on this topic, I was venting to him about our fucking pussy ass pledge class. These girls are pussies, no matter what anyone says. They whine, they cry, they complain, they beg for sleep. FUCK THAT SHIT! I did not sleep at all during pledging, nor did I cry the whole goddamn time. Do not expect me to respect these little cunts if they cannot even make it the pledge period without talking to a boy. Thats a joke. I love dick as much as the next wholesome young lady, but REALLY?!!

Anyway. I do really love feeling needed....and enjoyed...and like someone genuinely cares about what I say.

Which brings me back to my family.

They do love/need/enjoy/care.

And I love it.

I have a boyfriend now. Weird right? It's weird for me to even say "My boyfriend"...but I guess I'm really into him because I haven't slept with him yet(which seems really backwards but thats how I know its true). Plus last weekend I kicked a girl (Phi Sigg) out of his apt in front of an entire party.

Brief Hilarious re-cap

I had to walk one of my sisters back to the dorm from this party cuz she was tired and upset. On my way back, Dan calls and says

"Hey you're coming back right?"
"Yeah I am on my way, why whats up?"
"Well Anna Moffet is in my bed...."
"I'll be there in a second"

Now Anna Moffet climbed into his apt window 2 weeks ago because she is a creepy wack job, and he was passed out drunk. Also, Dan's frat brother Yerkes was passed out in his bed. I've come to the uninformed decison that she thought that Dan was the one passed out in his bed, and didn't care that it wasn't him, and tried to hook up with Yerkes(who also has a girlfriend) So after I walk in, 2 of my sisters are like "We have your back" and I was l ike yeah okay dont need it but thanx boo..

*picture me walking in to his room, swinging the door open forcefully, and turning on the lights as forcefully as you can do that*

"Anna. Get out of that bed now."
"uhm...ehh..."
"No. I do not want you in that bed Get. Up. Now"
"Okay"

I shut the door behind her and go into the living room. Kaitlyn has a perfect view of where she came from and goes

"Abby! She just went back in there"
*stunned silence at her stupidity since I was *rudely*polite the first time*
"ANNA! WHAT THE FUCK. GET THE FUCK OUT OF HER NOW! I DO NOT CARE WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE DOING GET THE FUCK UP AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS APARTMENT RIGHT THIS FUCKING MINUTE"
"I was just trying to..."
"I DO NOT FUCKING CARE. YOU BETTER FUCKING LEAVE NOW GODDAMN IT!"

She left. In tears. To the sounds of an appaluding apartment.

Don't fuck with my fucking boyfriend. Let me see that wretched little cunt back there again. That'll be the last time anybody fuckin' sees her.

Tue, 21 Aug 2007 03:09:16 GMT

Mon, 20 Aug 2007 03:20:55 GMT

Turn Ons
Nice hands
Nice smiles
Nice in general
Strong arms
typically "manly"
does sweet things with out asking me what to do
is strong(or appears so, cuz thats hot)
can argue with me
doesnt play games
straight foward attitude
NOT crazy
straight up GETS me(ie knows when to quit, knows when i'm upset, knows how to read me)
can take a joke
romantic

Turn Offs
Bad teeth
Overly emotional
Overly nice
Overly sweet
Argues too much
too romantic
crazy
doesnt get me at all
jokes too much

is this man to fucking hard to ask for?!?!?

Tue, 24 Jul 2007 00:38:44 GMT

even when i dont

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 05:26:41 GMT

this summer dude.

this summer has been.....

this summer has been not what i expected in every way shape or form...

...and its unexpectedly good in everyway shape or form.

Fri, 25 May 2007 04:27:01 GMT

i am an updating whore right now

Thirteen random things you like (no order):
1. music
2. hair dying
3. sweatpants
4. liquor
5. sex
6. barbie comforter
7. weed
8. fun
9. laughing
10. living
11. chapstick
12. phi alpha mu
13. family

Twelve movies:
1. Ten things i hate about you
2. Drop dead fred
3. jaws
4. back to the future
5. garden state
6. the goonies
7. 300
8. rules of attraction
9. the boondock saints
10. grind house double feature
11. silence of the lambs
12. beevis and butthead do america

Eleven good bands/artists:
1. elvis
2. cKy
3. Journey
4. lynard skynard
5. the roots
6. queen
7. tom petty and the heart breakers
8. johnny cash
9. black sabbath
10. heart
11. james taylor

Ten things about you ... physically:
1. i have a rather large ass and i love it
2. my eyes are brownish green and expressive
3. i just cut all of my long dark brown hair off but i was secretly cutting away things around me i didnt like
4. i had braces to make my teeth straight
5. i have "piano player" fingers
6. the web between my ring and middle fingers is unusally high
7. my hands are also large considering my size
8. my waist is a 3-5
9. i have an "inny" belly button
10. i think i have a cute face

Nine good friends:

1. julie
2. beusse
3. luke
4. cara
5. casey
6. 'riss
7. kaitlyn
8. alex
9. becky
10.jenmiller

Eight Favorite Foods/Drinks:
1. chicken pot pie
2. beer
3. tuna
4. vodka
5. REGULAR Coke
6. grape soda
7. meat...any thing as long as its meat
8. kool aid

Seven things you wear daily:
1. bra
2. undies (usually)
3. blue jeans
4. t-shirt of some sort
5. rings and bracelet
6. mascara
7. chapstick

Six things that annoy you:
1. wet socks
2. drinking with my retainer in
3. people who say that i "intimidate" them and thats why they feel uncomfortable around me
4. stuck up people
5. loud cellphone usuers
6. mean people

Five song quotes you love:
1. Well I won't back down, no I won't back down
You could stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won't back down
Gonna stand my ground, won't be turned around
And I'll keep this world from draggin' me down
Gonna stand my ground and I won't back down
2. Self-indulgence is such a hard habit to brake.
3. Will you ever know what happened to me?
It happens everyday
And you wonder what went on
It's there and then it's gone
Maybe I'm sentimental
And I start to reminisce
And every time I do
I still want to tell you this
Don't hate me
don't regret me
don't ever forget me
Wherever you go
whatever you do
don't say I never loved you
4. Pain, I like it rough
5. flirtin with disaster
Four shows you watch:
1. what not to wear
2. snl
3. best week ever
4. rob and big
5. CSI

One person you could spend the rest of your life with
1. my so ul mate

Fri, 25 May 2007 00:46:12 GMT

Weed makes me so horny.

which thinking about it is bad considering its me....

and i'm p robably the horniest person ever.

ugh.and being home is like one huge chastity belt, because there is no one here who peaks my intrest whatsoever...atleast no one that i know...

Thu, 24 May 2007 04:30:36 GMT

Any man of mine better walk the line
Better show me a teasin' squeezin' pleasin' kinda time
I need a man who knows, how the story goes
He's gotta be a heartbeatin' fine treatin'
Breathtakin' earthquakin' kind
Any man of mine

i have a total crush on this guy brett from school. hes big and covered in tattoos...and we talk all the time.

mmhhm

hes hot and funny and what have you

i like it.

Fri, 04 May 2007 03:29:16 GMT

1. I've come to realize that my last kiss... was not worth it
2. I am listening to...jules and lindsay talking
3. I talk... shit that i can back up
4. I love... my family
5. My friends...are wonderful, but hard to deal with sometimes...
6. My first real kiss...was in the rain, and romantic....
7. The number seven is missing because....meh who needs a seven
8. Love...is ever fleeting...
9. Marriage is...something i dream about
10. Somewhere, someone is thinking...about the same thing i am
11. I'll always...speak my mind
12. I have a secret crush... and he knows
13. The last time I cried was because...i was so angry i couldnt speak
14. My cell phone... is cute, new, black and i couldnt live with out it
15. When I wake up in the morning...i hit snooze and always miss my psych class
16. Before I go to bed I... watch tv, think, an dthen lock my door
17. Right now I am thinking about... the conversation i'm having with him and when beusse will get here
18. Babies are...something i'm amped to have
19. I get on Myspace...a way to chat with my baby brother
20. Today I... went to one of my classes, smoked the rest of my cigs, and realized i have $4.05 in my bank account.
21. Tonight I will...go to beusse's and drink with her
22. Tomorrow I will be... attending my last two classes, handing in my last paper of this year.
23. I really want...to make lots of money this summer
24. I tag these six people... Anyone. Go for it.

so we're talking again, and it makes me happy, and if you hurt me i'll kill you

no joke

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 01:33:08 GMT

"People have scars. In all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret roadmaps of their personal histories. Diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don't. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere and though the cut's long gone, the pain still lingers."

Beusse is so smart...i love talking to her more than anything, shes like the bigsister i have never had....she has the uncanny ability to make me realize what matters and what doesnt, and to shoot me straight and i need that.

We're talking again, and you're presistent...theres some people you can never get away from and you're one of them. Today one of your brothers told me that he could see us together for like the next three years(which is a random amount of time but hes a very random guy...) You've been calling me three to four weeks straight, and i've been a bitch for more than half that time. I would answer the phone to hear your voice and to be utterly cold and vindictive. And yet you never ceased to mention that you missed me, you made a mistake, and call me "babe'.

And i'm glad youre presistant and glad you are making an effort..i'll apologize here for the guys i fucked, which in hinesight was just a comfort issue, a way for me to feel wanted and needed and pretty since you weren't around. And i would never admitt to fucking them to you. But i did. But none of them were you.

Life is a mother-fucker, but Love is a bigger one.

Tue, 17 Apr 2007 05:03:58 GMT

"I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best."

These words are for you. get out of my face. out of my head. out of my heart.

I want someone new

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 06:02:55 GMT

idontknowwhatsgoingonwithmeifeellikeeverythingisfallingapartbutatthesametimeverythingisinperfectplaceifeelcompletelyandutterlystressedbutatthesametimecompltelycalmandfinewithmylifeifeellikeihavesomuchworktodobutatthesametimehavemorefreetimetheniknowwhattodowithihateyoubutiloveyouiwantyoutostopfuckingwithmeiwanteveryonetostopfuckingwithmeicantfuckinghandleitwhycantsomeonejustlikemejustcareformejustnotwanttofuckmebecauseforasmuchshitasitalkireallydowanttobelovediwantarelationshipidontwanttobeyourmotherfuckingsecondstringyoursecondchoiceyourfallbackbecauseyouknowillalwaysbeherewhywouldiwanttobesecondbestimnotsecondbestsofortheloveofgodwhydidyoudothistomeicantsleepidreamaboutyouithinkabutyouyoucallmeoutoftheblueandloveonmeandmissmeandthenitspoofyouregoneagianforweeksijustwantaboytoholdmecloseandtolovemelikeyoulovedmebutbetterbecuasetheyllreallylovemeandtreatmerightandmakemefeellikeimworthtwoshitsandmoreimportantlywontletmebesittingupattwoohtwointhemorningthinkingaboutyourrandomcallsthatjustkeepcomingandcomingandijustdontunderstandwhyicantgetawayfromyouwhycantyoujustleavemebewhycantijustfindsomeonetolovemewhyamisoinsecurewhydoeseveryguylikemeuntilltheyknowmeandrealizethatiamahorriblegirlandimjustfriendmaterialorevenworsejustagoodlay?

thats what its like inside my head.

sometimes i'd just like to get awayfrom me for a while and clear my head out.....

i dont know

Tue, 03 Apr 2007 05:19:03 GMT

PHENOMENAL WOMAN
by Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a model's fashion size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips
The stride of my steps
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please
And to a man
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees
Then they swarm around me
A hive of honey bees.
I say
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth
The swing of my waist
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say
It's in the arch of my back
The sun of my smile
The ride of my breasts
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say
It's in the click of my heels
The bend of my hair
The palm of my hand
The need for my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

I dont really have anything to say, but that is my favorite poem.

And when I have kids, i'm going to read them the poems that my grandfather read to me out of the big book...and they too will know of the Goops, and they too will love the story of pandora's box at a young age, and they too will know the beginning of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's "Paul Revere's Ride" seemlessly..

But when I have a baby girl, she will know this poem, she will think of this poem when she is said, and insecure, and when she feels like they shes the only one with a big ass or small waist or whatever this beautiful girl will look like.

But until then, I'll show my mom, because no matter what your age, you need to love you for you. And when my baby girl T get's old enough, I'll show her too.

No one should ever doubt their own worth, no matter what any one else thinks